


I'm a Monster

by Milunax



Series: Winter Soldier Steve Gift [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captain America! Bucky, M/M, Winter Soldier! Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:51:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milunax/pseuds/Milunax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were times where Steve and Bucky could live under the same roof in peace, almost like how it was before. But, there were also times where everything just fell into complete and utter chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm a Monster

**Author's Note:**

> Okay alright! Second Stucky fic hell yeahhhh ~ This one is angssttttt! Though, I didn't even feel it to be painful.. Hopefully! You guys will feel the pain that I was practically numb to when I was writing this ^^
> 
> Enjoy or like, cry out, drown in your tears or emotion maybe? ^^" Also! Beta-ed by mah awesome lil sis ~

Today wasn't the best of days for Bucky. He was happy that Steve was with him, even with SHIELD monitoring both of them 24/7 in his apartment. But, they were together again and that should've been enough. He should've known it was too good to be true.

"Stay away from me." Steve murmured out, moving away from the ravenette as his gaze never left the floor.

Bucky felt his own stomach churn; he wish he could just hug the blonde and tell him that it was alright. That he didn't mean to hurt Bucky. It was just too sudden, the ravenette trying to cook up their dinner as Steve tried to help out. He should've been more careful when he held weapons of the sort near Steve. He was chopping the vegetables for their food and Steve went to his side to ask how to make the sauce -- they were slowly getting back to their old ways.

That was until Bucky's small little slip up. He should've let go of the knife before facing Steve, should have finished chopping the vegetables sooner, he should've been more careful. He turned to Steve, though the knife didn't even scratch the blonde. But, it was just an inch or two close to the other. In an instant, Steve quietened down and stared at the knife in Bucky's hands. The ravenette didn't quite notice at first, the blonde blanking out.

He only noticed when it was too late, his gaze moved down to the knife in his hands as Steve immediately grabbed a twisted his wrist, taking hold of the kitchen knife that was formerly in Bucky's hands. The blonde kicked Bucky at his stomach, sending the ravenette down, body curling up momentarily as he covered his stomach with his arm.

Steve glared at him, a vast emptiness evident in his eyes. It was the same look he had when they had first met on the rooftop months ago. The mask that covered his face and the expression of pure nothingness etched onto his features.

He told Steve to snap out of it; that he wasn't the Winter Soldier anymore. The ravenette got a quick beating from Steve, not wanting to hurt the other no matter what. He gave a narrow cut at Bucky's arm, cornering the ravenette against a wall as Steve pointed the edge of the knife against Bucky's throat.

A wave of fear washed over the ravenette for a moment; he knew exactly how to get out of his situation. But, what he didn't know was if Steve would revert back to his normal one, not the Winter Soldier persona of his.

They stood still for a moment, Bucky murmuring out Steve's name as well as memories from before and new ones that they've created over the past weeks. The blonde halted all actions, looking as though a mannequin if it wasn't from the breathing the ravenette heard from him. They lasted for minutes, even maybe an hour in their position before Steve finally snapped out of his assassin persona.

The look on Steve's face was pure fear; he backed away from the ravenette -- looking at Bucky wide eyed before running away from the other. Bucky chased the other, locking himself inside his room to which Bucky had hastily and accidentally broke the door to get inside. Steve sat at the far and dark corner of his room; the empty and unused guest room it used to be before Bucky took the blonde in.

He stared into nothing, not moving an inch even when Bucky had come in closer. Though, a few small shifts backwards till there was no space anymore Steve took, it didn't escape Bucky though -- he noticed even the smallest of actions from the other.

"Hey pal." The ravenette murmured.

Steve kept still, hugging his knees close to him as the blonde refused to glance at the other. Bucky sighed, shaking his head a little as he sat in front of the other, a good distance away from Steve though, he was still near enough that when he stretched his arms towards the other -- he could easily grab a hold of the blonde.

"You should've just killed me." The blonde whispered, burying his face against his arms, trying to cower away from the ravenette.

Bucky gritted his teeth in anger; it was all his fault. He should be more careful around Steve, more cautious. But, he didn't want the other to feel indifferent, like he was being treated like a child who couldn't do anything on his own. Steve would hate to be treated like that, Winter Soldier or not, Steve was always or wanted to be independent -- who could do things on his own.

"No Steve, I'd never do that. Look, it was fault--"

"No Bucky! I hurt you!" Steve quickly retorted back, looking back to the ravenette as tears dreaded to spill from his eyes. He was afraid, not from being touched or being taken care of, nor even trusting. He was afraid of himself, afraid that he may ruin the only person who'd ever done good and even saw him as a person.

"I can't.. I don't know what I'd do; if I ever finished my mission." He said in a small stuttering tone of voice, trying to keep as far away as he can from the other.

"Bucky, I'm a monster."


End file.
